Yep. She doesn't really care. She says nonsense stuff. Like I should get a different job. But we can't move, so my options are limited. I pay all the bills and would need to take a pay cut if I switched jobs, so we would have to at least sell the current house and move to an much smaller one.
Another good example is that she said I should keep my nice car and keep doing track days when she found out I was going to sell it. Well, were getting married and having a kid. With what money am I expected to do all this? It had to be sold for the budget to work.
You don't have to be a victim.
If you earn x, and she earns y, it's perfectly OK in a relationship to get a job that pays only y.
I think your wife doesn't want you to be a victim either, maybe she is just not good with finance.
You can be happy in a smaller house as well.
Good relationships require clear communication and some semblance of equality.
If you're serious about staying with her, then you need to balance your needs against hers. It's a perfectly valid thing to say "I hate my job. I'm looking for one I enjoy more that pays less. If that happens, I won't be able to pay for your horse. If you want to keep your horse, we need to find a way to balance the budget."
Either she cares about you and has never developed financial muscles, in which case you two can get through with some hard decisions and be happier.
Or she doesn't care about you, and you should split.
